"i wish to show the emergence of culture as an abstraction and an absolute: an emergence which, in a very complex way, merges two general responses - first, the recognition of the practical separation of certain moral and intellectual activities from the driven impetus of a new kind of society; second, the emphasis of these activities, as a court of human appeal, to be set over the processes of practical social judgement and yet to offer itself as a mitigating and rallying alternative."

i hoped typing this down would make it seem more comprehensible. didnt seem to work. arrrgh exam on thu...haha...jialat

1st xmas wish: more full stops in articles i read. helps relieve the cheemness!

gavin poured silver metal at 12:12 AM. |

paper tomorrow...its finally my turn

reputation precedes me, amazing considering im holed up at home with books and papers. dont even go online much.

times like this i hate thinking about irrelevant things and *gasp* being around pple

gavin poured silver metal at 9:14 AM. |

i havent experienced failure for a long time and it scares me. are my standards now set so high that nothing less than a construed average-above average can be enough for me? with little effort too.

whats it like to have money and riches yet still seeking fulfillment. always feel there's this void in my life yet as time slips away i'm contend to let it continue this way. my family is reasonably well off, not the jet-setting globe trotting extravagance, but its a higher middle class lifestyle we have. 3 cars, 2 houses, etc. yet i always feel somethings missing.we've all along been a super detached family but shouldnt i be used to it by now?

sometimes i feel the internal mood swings get the better of me, finding it difficult to stay tied down in so many things. ah well, gotta shut these thoughts outta my mind. exam in 2 days after all.

juz ending off with this prayer my friend sent me during my super-packed assignment week. i thought she was afk but in reality she was typing this. was, and am still really touched by it.

Dear God, I pray for my dear brother gavin that You will guard his health and mind,cause Him to be refreshed by You Lord, and guide him in the remaining of this last assignment. Teach Him to rely and trust in You Lord, and may You give Him peace of mind. Take away His headache as he believes Lord, may Your healing hand be upon Him. In Jesus name, amen.

gavin poured silver metal at 10:10 AM. |

so carry me...im juz a dead man lying on the carpet

where can a dead man like me be carried to?

been totally mad the past 3 weeks. like around 15 assignments. overall quality for those received back not too bad. hope it stays that way.

many thanks to all those for their support, encouragement and prayers. if i left out any appreciation to anyone, it aint personal.

despite there still being 2 exams, time to literally look back at the sem. been a sem of mostly ups i guess because i refuse to allow myself to get down. close friendships reinforced, new friends made. but are these riches of life temporary? only time may tell. still...i owe a certain couple a toilet bowl for their new flat *haha*

i feel myself become hard again, literally ike a dead man. oddly enough i know its not because of the shitasss amt of work, its juz my view of life. is there sense in being warm and friendly in the world all the time? i wish i knew.

usually at this time i'd be getting back into volunteering activities - organisng, stepping on toes, almost fighting. yet with my impending resignation letter to type, there isn't any charity bureacracy to look forward to.

not that there isn't a further option. have been given the open door to assist heading a sector of club rainbow. the thought is still lingering at the back of my mind. feels gratifying that a big charity offers a youth like me a position yet i gotta sort out my priorities without committing too much.

dead man has to cut his hair first, its been 3 mths.

gavin poured silver metal at 9:57 AM. |